In partnership with
Leadership Challenge - "HOW DO I SAY NO WITHOUT BEING THE BAD GUY?"
Answer:
You don't.
Saying no makes you the bad guy.
Accept it.
That's leadership.
Every yes to one thing is a no to something else.
You can't please everyone.
Stop trying.
Say no clearly.
Explain why.
Then move on.
People respect direct nos more than vague maybes.
Being liked isn't your job. Making the right call is.
Question to Consider: What are you afraid will happen if you say no?
Why:
Saying no is your job.
Saying yes to everything is cowardice.
Here's what's happening: someone asks for something.
You want to say no.
But you're scared.
What if they get mad?
What if they think you're mean?
So you say "maybe" or "let me think about it."
You avoid the no.
Now they're in limbo.
They don't know where they stand.
The cost? Your team doesn't trust you.
They don't know if you're honest.
You say "maybe" but mean "no." So they waste time hoping. Meanwhile, you're drowning in open loops.
Twenty people are waiting for answers. You avoid giving them because you don't want to be the bad guy. But now you're the bad guy anyway. You're the person who never gives clear answers.
Your best people leave because they can't make decisions. The ones who stay are comfortable with ambiguity.
You created this by caring more about being liked than being clear.
Action:
Start saying no directly this week.
"No, here's why."
Be clear.
Be kind.
But be direct.
People respect clear nos.
They hate vague maybes.
Practice: say no to three things.
Stay Unfiltered,
— Andy
P.S. Watch the relief on people's faces when you're finally clear. They'd rather hear no than maybe.
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