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Hey Unfiltered Leaders,
"PEOPLE NOD IN MEETINGS THEN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT."
Answer: You allow it. That's why it happens. No consequences.
People do what they can get away with. If nodding and ignoring has no consequence, it becomes the norm. You're teaching them that your words don't matter through your inaction.
They're not defying you maliciously.
They're responding to the pattern you established: words don't predict action.
Question: What happens when someone ignores a deadline?
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— Back to the article —
Why: People do what they can get away with.
If nodding and ignoring has no consequence, it becomes the norm. You're teaching them your words don't matter through your inaction. Here's the pattern: you say something in a meeting. They nod. They don't do it. Next meeting, you say it again. They nod again. They still don't do it. No consequence.
They learned: nodding is enough. Doing is optional.
You trained this by not following up. By not having consequences. By accepting nods as compliance. Now you're frustrated they don't execute. But you never required execution. You only required nodding. So that's what they give you.
They've figured out the game.
- Show up. Nod. Leave.
- Do whatever you were going to do anyway.
The leader's words don't matter. His consequences don't exist. They're responding rationally to the system you built.
Action: First, check if they're delivering results.
If they're hitting outcomes despite ignoring your process, the problem is your expectations, not their defiance.
But if they're not delivering, institute accountability immediately. Next missed deadline, pull them aside: "You agreed to this. You missed it. What happened?" Listen. Then set clear expectation: "Next deadline, I need you to hit it or tell me 48 hours before if you can't. Agreed?"
Give them one more shot with clear consequence stated. If they miss again after clear warning, have a direct conversation about whether this role is right for them. The team is watching.
If you let one person slide, everyone learns the standard is fake.
Wrapping This Up
You are the leader, If it sucks, it is your fault.
Leadership is holding people accountable, including yourself,
— Andy
P.S. The empty nod is toxic, but if the team delivers, your expectations are the problem.
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